Why I’m Stepping Into the CEO Role at A Better Share

Thirteen years ago, my life changed in a way I wasn’t prepared for.

Our daughter Effie was born, and almost overnight, my experience of our marriage shifted. We had a strong relationship. We loved each other deeply. We were the kind of couple who talked through things and supported one another.

And yet, I remember being shocked at how quickly resentment began creeping in.

It wasn’t because my husband was a bad partner. It wasn’t because we didn’t care about each other.

It was because my life changed dramatically… and his didn’t seem to change in the same way.

Suddenly there were so many things that defaulted to me.

The remembering.
The planning.
The anticipating.
The invisible work that keeps a family functioning.

Doctor’s appointments. Packing diaper bags. Thinking ahead about meals. Researching childcare. Tracking milestones. Noticing when something was running low. Anticipating what the week ahead would require.

None of these tasks felt huge in isolation. But together they weighed me down and left me anxious and overwhelmed.

What struck me most wasn’t just the volume of what I was carrying…it was how invisible it was and how hard it was for my husband to see. Because when something is invisible, it’s very difficult to share.

And when it isn’t shared, resentment grows quickly.

I remember thinking, How did we get here so fast?

That question became the beginning of a journey that would shape the next decade of my work.

When the Mental Load Enters a Relationship

For more than 20 years, I’ve worked in the field of relationships. My focus has always been translating relationship research and theory into practical tools couples can actually use in their daily lives.

But the transition into parenthood gave me a front-row seat to something I had not fully experienced myself before: the mental load.

I began hearing the same stories again and again from the couples I worked with.

One partner felt overwhelmed by the invisible planning that held their home together.
The other partner often felt confused, defensive, or unsure where to step in.

Both partners cared deeply about their relationship.

But the tension around responsibilities slowly eroded the sense that they were on the same team.

Over time, that erosion shows up in small ways:

• Conversations become more tense.
• Appreciation fades.
• Each partner starts to feel misunderstood.

It’s rarely about laziness or lack of love. More often, it’s about systems that quietly developed in the background of a busy life.

What I’ve Learned After Helping Hundreds of Thousands of Couples

Throughout my career, I’ve had the privilege of helping hundreds of thousands of people around the world navigate these kinds of moments in their relationships.

My work has been featured on Good Morning America, in The New York Times, Teen Vogue, Women’s Health Magazine, and many other outlets. I’ve written two books—Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself and A Better Share: How Couples Can Tackle the Mental Load for More Fun, Less Resentment, and Great Sex.

And across all of this work, one belief has only grown stronger for me:

Resolving the mental load doesn’t happen through logistics alone.

It happens at the intersection of two things:

1. How responsibilities are handled in the family and
2. How the relationship functions around those responsibilities.

You can reorganize tasks endlessly, but if the relational dynamics aren’t addressed, resentment finds its way back in.

At the same time, focusing only on communication without addressing the real workload doesn’t solve the underlying pressure either.

True change happens when couples can see both pieces clearly.

The Mental Load Is the Enemy—Not Each Other

One of the most important things I tell couples is this:

Your partner is not the enemy. The mental load is the problem.

When couples begin seeing the mental load as something external to the relationship, something they can face together instead of fighting about, it changes the entire conversation.

Instead of asking, “Who is doing more?”

Couples begin asking, “How do we handle this together?”

That shift matters more than most people realize.

Because I am deeply pro-relationship, I believe both partners need a voice in the conversation. I believe both partners need to feel seen and understood. And I believe the strongest relationships are built when couples feel like they’re navigating life as a team.

Why I’m Stepping Into This Role

When I first began talking with Ellie Windle about Persist, I immediately recognized the importance of what she had created.

Persist helped couples begin measuring and visualizing the mental load. It brought visibility to something that had often gone unspoken.

Thousands of families have already begun that process because of her work.

But as we talked more, it became clear that the next stage of this mission required something deeper.

Couples don’t just need visibility.
They need structure.
They need language.
They need tools that help them stay aligned as they move through the busyness of real life.

That’s what Better Share is designed to offer.

Stepping into the CEO role at A Better Share allows me to bring together the two things I care most about:

Helping couples navigate the practical responsibilities of life…while protecting the connection that makes those responsibilities worth sharing.

We are building something grounded in research, informed by real couples, and designed to make lasting change possible.

Moving Forward Together

The mission behind Better Share is simple.

• Help couples make the invisible visible.
• Help them navigate the responsibilities of family life with more clarity, fairness, and collaboration.
• And most importantly, help them feel like they are on the same team again.

Because the truth is this:

Life will always be busy.
There will always be things that need to be planned, remembered, and managed.

But the way couples move through those responsibilities together can make all the difference.

I’m incredibly grateful to be stepping into this work in a new way, and even more grateful to the thousands of families who have already begun this journey with us.

If you’re here, it means you care about sharing the load in your relationship.

And that already matters more than you might realize.